It’s a sickly feeling
Bubbling up in my lungs
When you ask me why I am looking at you
When I imagine a day when you aren’t here
It’s a vibrating feeling
When I want to lock myself away
Take a train to nowhere
The same song beating in my ears
The same scenes drifting through my head
I spent hours in the shower
Closed myself away from the dust and noise
I spent hours riding away
Getting lost
Looking for something that can’t be found
Been back five minutes
And the tea is already cold
Bitterly sweet
Icy and sour as is slides down my throat
Been back five minutes
And the silence already lingers
I yearn to be above the earth
Away from here
With no one but my own
Been back five minutes
And you have already gone
That other person
With orange eyes and fuller words
I want them back
Been back five minutes
I’ve forgotten what it feels like to fly
The air is flat
The soil is stale
And I’m already gone
I can’t make you love me
I’m knee deep in this icy snow
Calling your name
My sweet voice echoes through the empty night
And simmers into nothingness
Warm tears slide down and away
I am soaring over this dusty earth
Longing to fly far away from here
Soft and translucent piano tunes take me away
Away from your voice
And they simmer into nothing
I want to slide down and away
Oh yes
Another sober Monday
Sat in these pink and white sheets
Vanilla soaks the air
And you soak my sheets
Amy sings
And this rose wine flows
So bitter and nice
And your rugged face
Tugs at my mind
My mind wanders
Throughout this flowery pod
And sweeps over the dusty floors
And moist mattresses
Takes itself over the pine trees
Towards your house
Oh yes
Another sober Monday
Trying so hard every second of every day to be perfect
The face that you make
The ink that you bleed
The hair that you dye
Day in day out
Day out day in
Just waiting for someone to fall
Plummet off that cliff towards your shiny feet
With nothing in their eyes but you
Trying so hard every day of every month to be that person
That person who is a glint in his eye
The endless nights
Of wine and cigarettes
Of standing in the icy cold
Frozen puddles at your feet
Just waiting for someone to take you in their arms
And make it all worthwhile
Trying so hard for this one time to be different from all the rest
And you are the one who is plummeted
You kiss his head
You ask for the promises
Wrapped in shiny paper with a bow
And it never arrives
Trying so hard to stand by the river cool and calm
Collected and soulful with guitars strumming in your eyes
You are the one who chose this
He kisses your head
But then it’s all gone
And the swans swim away
And your hair fades
And you try and try every day to be perfect
Nice guys finish last
That’s the way it always is
You can’t please them all
You can only please one
And that’s just the way it is
Take your sweet words and fry them in passion
Salt them in some desire
Flavour with lust and love
And you will be good to go
And that’s just the way it is
Take that heat and aim and fire
Discover which target you want to hit
And try to whack them all
Try to taste them all
Because that’s just the way it is
The nice guy always finishes last
His stale manner lingers in the doorway
Resistant to time and hate
Push some buttons
Pump your blood
That’s just the way it is
I am feeling like I won’t give up
I am feeling like this is the start
The day wakes with a buzz
And I’m pulled through each minute
By the thought of you
These sparkling lights
Hung beneath and above our heads
And the waves of the night sail us through these days
And I don’t want these days to end
I’m feeling like my head’s on fire
I’m feeling like this might be it
The day ends with a kiss
And I am drifting along the plains
By the sound of you
These sparkling lights
Hung beneath and above our heads
And the waves of the night sail us through these weeks
And I am scared that these days will end
I’m feeling like I’m burning inside
I’m feeling alright
The time passes and is suddenly gone
Minutes wander throughout the night
By the sight of you
These sparkling lights
Hung beneath and above our heads
And the waves of the night sail us through these months
And I know that these days won’t end
There’s a station and you can catch a train to anywhere
Pack your bags
And you’ll be there
There’s a world and you can put your feet in the centre of it
Dig out your best shoes
And you’ll be there
There’s a girl with red hair waiting
She wants to take you everywhere
If you grab her hand
She’ll get you there
Half past one the cuckoo sings
I realise that this clock has grown wings
White and fluffy, stretched out like a bird
They flutter like tiny heartbeats
Pulsing up and down
Up and down
Tick and tock
Ten to one or is it half past three
The wings flutter violently
This sacred clock sits empty
Empty of hands and void of time
Tutting down and up
Down and up
Tock and tick
It’s a big jump
Concrete slabs beneath your feet
These jungle sounds
Taste so sweet
It’s a big jump
Bitter sun on your face
These angry nights
Are losing space
It’s a big jump
Wood rot wearing thin
It’s one big leap
To get to him
It’s a big jump
A rolling gap with no place to go
It’s a big jump
And you know you can’t say no
It starts then it stops
It’s here then it isn’t
Loud and then quiet
Your heart skips a step
It’s drumming
Or is it?
It’s shaking
Or is it?
The music strumms
And comes to a close
And it stops
I’ve gone back to then
When kisses taste so sweet
So bad for you
And palms touch in the night
And my head is filled with marshmallow
I’ve gone back to then
When the world is all shiny and new
So good for you
And paths cross every second
And my heart is filled with brushstrokes
We’ve gone back to then
When my stomach flutters and my legs shake
So all for you
And eyes are gleaming wide
And we are both filled with then
I’m learning to breathe on my own now
The silences are fading and I can hear your voice
I sense the sunrise and my head burns
With each breath I sense our past
And our present
He couldn’t possibly know where she is going
She will be lying in someone else’s arms
A poet from Bristol
Who is reading another one about her
And she cries
He couldn’t possibly know where she will end up
She will be walking on a beach of pebbles
With a musician from Leeds
They are wondering what to do next
And she smiles
He couldn’t possibly know where her heart will go
She will be sitting alone in her high rise flat
One glass of red and two hundred pages to go
With an empty fridge and a wholesome soul
And she sings
He could possibly take her into his arms
She is sailing her way through the storm to him
New hair and brown eyes
With a heart ready to be inked
And she hopes
owl features
pale hair
creased shirts
rough skin
thin lips
stick arms
cold hands
empty promises
dirty shoes
bad timing
insect legs
grey face
hard surface
tall back
solid responses
rosy cheeks
soft glow
colourful jeans
warm touch
kind words
autumnal scent
timeless moment
deep eyes that I am lost in again
